Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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