why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
