I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize