can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
