At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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