he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
