if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
worst night to have a conscience
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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