Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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