Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize