wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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