FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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