I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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