We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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