So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
