I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
