there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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