Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
