I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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