Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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