So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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