Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
