he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize