that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
