physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
