you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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