Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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