I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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