Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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