we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize