I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
