I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
