He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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