If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
