Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize