Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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