I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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