Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
