I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
