i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
