And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
