I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize