sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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