you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
