Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
