its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I didn't notice because vodka
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
