today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
