Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
