3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
