I'll bet she douches with gravy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize