I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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