evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize