One girl and one boy is just not enough.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he shaved USA in his pubs
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
