I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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