I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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