Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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