i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
