K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
