i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
