It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
