Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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